Crazy be Youz

Boy + GIRL friends = just friends

Boy + crazy BITCH from hell = FUN for everyone

Now I'm pretty insecure and possessive myself but here's why I'm not crazy:

1. the guy's my boyfriend

2. somebody is actually flirting with him to piss me off

3. the guy knows I exist.

If you miss out on number 3, there is definitely something wrong with you. In the words of my new found comedic hero, Russell Brand (a.k.a., Katy Perry's not so attractive boyfriend), "You...are essentially....an oxygen thief".

There's nothing wrong with having the hots for someone. There's nothing wrong with hating all the girls around him. There's nothing wrong with screaming his name just so he'll notice you. There's nothing wrong with deliberately hanging out with his org even though you're not a part of it. There's nothing wrong with posting silly messages on his Facebook wall just so people would think you guys have a thing but you really really don't. There's nothing wrong with him lending his stuff to somebody else and you taking it from that someone just so he'll get it back from you. And there's definitely nothing wrong with glaring at all his girl friends (including those he isn't even close to but you've convinced yourself otherwise) and calling them bitches to their faces with this pathetic whispering act (Hint: they can hear you).

So woman, I humbly shower you with all my sarcasm. I know you'll eventually figure out who you are and I'm betting you'll throw acid to my face when you find out where I live. I'd prefer that, honestly. 'Coz if for one second you couldn't tell that this was you, wow.... you iz seriously one craaazy bitch.